HOW TO SPOT A HOMOSEXUAL, DEFEND AGAINST IT AND PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN

HOW TO SPOT THEM:
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1) Homosexuals are usually of the Homo Sapiens variety.

2) Are not of the lumberjack profession.

3) Homosexuals live under a rainbow which is also their world wide distinguishing symbol. If you capture one without it noticing you they will grant you 3 wishes and then depart. Can often be seeing carrying huge cauldrons with gold around.

4) Homosexuals are avid supporters of the 9/11 bombing. Do not argue with them as they will use violence to support their arguments.

5) According to recent studies 1 out of 1000000 people are homosexuals! If you start counting people, on a bus stop per se, the moment you reach number 1000000 you almost certainly have found a homosexual. Warn the local authorities before taking any premature action.

6) Historians now believe homosexuals are a relatively new race as they exist since 1987, the year the Chernobyl reactor exploded mutating humanity worldwide. If a homosexual is approached with a radiation radar it will make a small "bzzzzzzzt" sound.

7) They often dress up in weird costumes such as all blue and the mystical word "POLICE" written on their backs which is a way our glorious government uses to distinguish them.

8) As masters of disguise they will often dress up as elderly people or little kids. It is important to unmask them on sight, do not be discouraged if their face skins starts to tear off as this is just another one of their uncanny tricks to make you stop.

HOW TO DEFEND AGAINST THEM
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1) Be STRAIGHT.

2) Do NOT talk with them. You might catch "homosexuality". If you believe you are infected with it then follow these simple steps to cure yourself.
a*) Grab a table.
b*) Slam your head against it.
c*) Are you alive? If yes then go back to step b else continue to step d.
d*) You are cured of homosexuality.

3) Warn the local authorities. Do not try to be a hero, if you see a homosexual engaging in homosexual activities you should best leave it to the experts.

4) The best and most effective weapon against them is our Lord Jesus Christ who gave us natural selection and evolution. Since homosexuals CANNOT reproduce they are expected to be extinct by the year 2018